Psalms

It's been quite a while since I last posted an entry here. Where did September and October go?

This trek through the Bible has been something else. It's like I'm reading it for the first time, and learning about God and about myself. It's like everything I learned growing up and in Bible College had been filtered and I did not get the raw truth. Sure, I've read the Bible growing up, and through Bible College, but guess I'm a little more receptive to the truth now that I've had life experience.

First when I started Psalms (in the middle of October), I figured David was manic. I mean, He talks about God as his refuge, asks God to save him and protect him, wonders where God is, asks for damnation on his enemies and those who sin against God, then asks for forgiveness for his own sin. That's a man I can relate to.

But I kept reading (and finally finished this morning). There are some beautiful songs of praise in Psalms, and some heart-wrenching cries for help. I think on a subconscious level I was apprehensive to start Psalms because I knew it was much more personal and intimate than what I had read so far. All the books from Genesis to Job are essentially narratives. Stories. Sure, some of the stories include speeches that go on for days, but it's all sandwiched within a story.

Psalms is the bearing of a soul. I've never been one to share my emotions, and I've always been comfortable with that - I've never felt the need to change. But I have and continue experienced doubt, frustration with the same God with whom I experience joy and thanks. But David, Asaph, and whoever else wrote these Psalms certainly wore their feelings - the joy and the hurt, the gratefulness and the hate - on their sleeves.

And it's poetry. I never liked poetry - always enjoyed math though.

But now I think that's why God called David a man after his own heart - because he was honest - he did not pretend. David was grateful and he wrote about it. David hated something and he wrote about it. I guess the poetry and songs allowed it to be recited so others could learn the language to communicate with God in the 'likeheartedness' of David.

I started reading Psalms looking to learn about God. I ended up learning more about David working out his relationship with God. As he wrote in Psalm 139, God knows all about us - before we were created and after we're gone. So why pretend? God knew it anyway, so he may as well say it out loud.

A few months ago we were going through a rough spot. I was praying as I drove to work and really could not do much other than mutter, complain and swear under my breath as I tried to talk with God. I don't think I left much airspace for him to talk back, though. I figured God knew what I was thinking, so why hide it. So my prayer contained swearing. Why not?

I shared this with someone later - I'm not sure why. They disagreed with my approach. Then I read Psalms. David may not have used the same amalgamation of words I used, but he certainly let it rip on some occasions. Now I know God must have appreciated my honesty. It's not a prayer method I would use in public, though it worked for a private moment between God and me.

I did learn something about God from Psalms. He is not only silent with me sometimes. He was silent with David.

All the writers in Psalms echo a common theme about God throughout their pieces. This theme is contained in the words of Psalm 146: 7-9 -- He gives justice to the poor and food to the hungry. The LORD sets prisoners free and heals blind eyes. He gives a helping hand to everyone who falls. The LORD loves good people and looks after strangers. He defends the rights of orphans and widows, but destroys the wicked.

Other Psalms add the homeless to the list. I've often heard the teaching that "God helps those who helps themselves." Clearly, that's not indicated here. And it makes me think about the life of Jesus. He came to fulfill this kind of stuff - heal the broken heart, set captives free. James says that true religion is taking care of widows and orphans. If God looks after those people, then I guess I should be, in some sense, doing the same: the homeless, hungry, poor, widowed, orphaned and fallen.

What's funny though is that even though David says here that God destroys the wicked, in other places he asks God why he lets the wicked prosper? How long will he wait before he saves David? Sure, I realize that the latter question has a short-term vision and 146 is longer-term. Either way, David knows the truth at one point but doesn't see that truth at other times.

Poet or not, I think I'm a lot like David, and I don't think that's such a bad thing. I also think that the times in my life when everything wasn't working perfectly are the same times that God had a closer eye on my situation. He may have seemed silent, but he was hanging on every work I said and watching every move - because He loves me.